Category: Emotional Sobriety

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How Do You Let Go of The Need to Control …..

The need to feel that you are in control of other people, and their actions, can be one of the most debilitating and draining processes in your life. Often people have no conscious since that they are trying to control what is going on around them, but the underlying need is often the most central […]

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What is Manipulative Behaviour ?

There are in fact two questions really, what is manipulative behaviour and why is it so damaging. Manipulation is often thought of as being something that most people do in  varying degrees in order to get their own way, and quite often more of a game rather than something that actually harms people. There are […]

Why Secrets Are So Dangerous

Why Secrets Are So Dangerous

There are a number of slogans and sayings that get chucked around in health circles, which some people find really helpful, and other people find both helpful and irritating, depending upon their mood. One of the most common sayings, although not an actual slogan, is telling people directly or indirectly that they are as sick […]

Willing To Go To Any Lengths......

Willing To Go To Any Lengths……

Anyone familiar with this phrase will recognise it from the early part of chapter five of the book Alcoholics Anonymous, which sets out the 12 step program which is at the cornerstone of AA’s recovery process. As with many things in life, context is crucial. This phrase is used in a very specific context in […]

emotional sobriety

Why is Meditation So Difficult ?

There is a paradox about meditation, in that most types of meditation of themselves are fairly simple to do, but many people find meditation as a practice, or a process, incredibly difficult. Sometimes people put this down to a lack of discipline, or more commonly people simply say that they find meditation so difficult that […]

Why do People find it Hard to Believe in God?

Why do People find it Hard to Believe in God?

Most people have normally been asked at some point in their life if they believe in God or not. In AA and in 12 step recovery generally, people are likely to be asked this question more than once, sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly and quite often in fairly intense and overbearing circumstances. Whilst people in life […]

emotional sobriety

What is an Inner Voice?

When people talk about an inner voice in the context of spirituality, they are normally referring to an inner intuitive sense of direction in their life. This sense of there being an inner world, and it somehow helping to direct our life is for most people a hugely attractive idea, and for a great number […]

emotional sobriety

Pray As You Can, Not As You Can’t

The phrase ‘pray as you can not as you can’t’  isn’t terribly well known to a lot of people, but to those who do know it and use it as a literal guide to prayer, it can be an absolute lifesaver. The phrase originated from a monk at Downside, John Chapman, Abbott in the 1930s, […]

Resources

Resources

Alcoholics Anonymous  Al-Anon  Coda  Cult Recovery  Depression  Jesuit Spirituality  Narcotics Anonymous Sexual Abuse  12 Step Fellowships   ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Listed below are the main GSO websites for AA in the Major English Speaking Countries. Beneath them are a collection of assorted websites, listed by country, that contain links to groups / individuals connected to english […]

emotional sobriety

What Does Rigorous Honesty Really Mean ?

The term rigorous honesty is used a lot in Alcoholics Anonymous, and in the 12 step recovery world generally. Its original intent was to make clear the need for people to really own and take responsibility for the reality of their lives, both internally and externally. Like a lot of phrases and concepts in recovery, […]

Emotional Sobriety - What Does It Really Mean ?

Emotional Sobriety – What Does It Really Mean ?

Everyone’s journey from active alcoholism into sobriety is both unique and complex. One thing that is fairly common however, is that when people do sober up, they have to start living with themselves without alcohol. This means beginning to live with the reality of what they were trying to escape from when drinking, both internally […]

emotional sobriety

What Does it Mean to Respect Boundaries?

Quite a simple question in many ways, but one that many people struggle with, both in terms of trying to set boundaries of their own, and dealing with other people who don’t respect, or don’t seem able  to respect anyone else’s boundaries at all. The issue of boundaries is not unique to people in 12-step […]

emotional sobriety

Why People Struggle with Being Vulnerable

People quite often like to categorise emotions as being good or bad, with emotions such as anger and self-pity been thought of as bad or weak . Emotions such as gratitude and a positive outlook are thought of as good healthy emotional states. Truth is that judgement of any emotional state is of itself counter […]

emotional sobriety

Why Tough Love isn’t Really About Love

Tough love is one of those expressions that has crept into the vocabulary of mental health and 12 step recovery in recent years. It sort of implies that an action or directive is being given or taken which may on the surface seem a bit tough, but is being done from a place of love, […]

emotional sobriety

Why It’s Important to Question Gratitude

Quite often in an AA meeting or similar, you will hear someone announce themselves as my name is so-and-so and I’m grateful alcoholic/ addict, or I’m a grateful recovering alcoholic/addict. Equally, you are quite likely to hear someone say at a meeting something along the lines of a grateful alcoholic will never drink. There is […]

Accepting the Unacceptable

Accepting the Unacceptable

It has become almost something of a cliche in society nowadays to use the adage that you cannot cope with a problem unless you first admit it. Not that this is a new or a novel idea, but it is probably true that this sentiment has become much more powerful and widespread owing to the […]

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What is Emotional Sobriety ?

Emotional Sobriety is the title of an article written in the journal of Alcoholics Anonymous, known as the AA Grapevine, by one of its co-founders Bill W. In the article, he writes at length about the need to address many of the underlying emotional drives that fuelled his alcoholism, and implied that this was in […]

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Motivation in Sobriety

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How to change attitudes

How to change attitudes

Altered Attitudes is one of the many sayings that are used in meetings and in rehabs that is adapted from the letters of Alcoholics Anonymous into another word or phrase. AA meetings and the recovery process generally are full of sayings and phrases that for some people are quite catchy, and for other people can […]

Changing the things I can

Changing the things I can

Many people will be familiar with the wording of the Serenity Prayer, often heard at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step fellowships, and often use das almost a type of mantra by many people in recovery. Indeed many people say that the wording of the serenity prayer in effect sums up many of the […]